HEY THERE<\/p>\n
HOW ARE YOU DOING LITTLE BUDDY<\/p>\n
DIDN\u2019T MEAN TO SCARE YOU<\/p>\n
OR DID I<\/p>\n
HAHA<\/p>\n
JUST KIDDING<\/p>\n
ANYWAY<\/p>\n
WELCOME<\/p>\n
COME ON IN<\/p>\n
WATER\u2019S WARM, AS THEY SAY<\/p>\n
YOU LOOK REALLY NICE TODAY<\/p>\n
YOUR HAIR IS SUPER CLEAN<\/p>\n
SMART GUY LIKE YOU, SUPER CLEAN HAIR, I SEE A REAL BRIGHT FUTURE<\/p>\n
YOU\u2019RE GONG RIGHT TO THE TOP<\/p>\n
RIGHT TO THE STRATOSPHERE<\/p>\n
THE BIG LEAGUES<\/p>\n
YOU AREN\u2019T THERE YET THOUGH<\/p>\n
FAR FROM IT<\/p>\n
IN FACT, YOU\u2019RE BASICALLY AT THE BOTTOM<\/p>\n
IT\u2019S COOL THOUGH<\/p>\n
NO SWEAT<\/p>\n
WE KNOW YOU\u2019LL MAKE IT<\/p>\n
JUST NEED TO APPLY A LITTLE ELBOW GREASE, AS THEY SAY<\/p>\n
JUST A FEW MORE GOOD CALLS<\/p>\n
WE ALL KNOW YOU\u2019LL GET THERE CHAMP<\/p>\n
YOUR FRIENDS, YOUR PARENTS, YOUR SIBLINGS, YOUR TEACHERS, YOUR COACHES, THE GIRLS YOU WANNA FUCK<\/p>\n
WE ALL KNOW YOU CAN DO IT<\/p>\n
YOU ARE AT THE CENTER OF A LARGE PUBLICLY FUNDED AUDITORIUM<\/p>\n
WE\u2019RE IN THE BLEACHERS<\/p>\n
WE ALL MADE SIGNS THAT HAVE YOUR NAME ON IT AND WE\u2019RE HOLDING THEM UP AND CHEERING FOR YOU<\/p>\n
EVERY TIME YOU MAKE A GOOD CHOICE, WE ALL STAND UP AND CHEER<\/p>\n
HE\u2019S THE BEST!<\/p>\n
HE\u2019S GONNA WIN!<\/p>\n
HE\u2019S THE CHAMPION!<\/p>\n
STUFF LIKE THAT<\/p>\n
YOU LOVE IT TOO<\/p>\n
YOU LOVE IT WHEN WE CHEER FOR YOU<\/p>\n
IN FACT, THAT\u2019S THE ONLY REASON YOU DO IT<\/p>\n
FOR THE CHEERS<\/p>\n
YOU LITTLE FUCKFACE<\/p>\n
HAHA<\/p>\n
JUST KIDDING<\/p>\n
I\u2019M JUST GIVING YOU A HARD TIME BECAUSE YOU\u2019RE SO COOL<\/p>\n
YOU DO IT FOR GOOD REASONS<\/p>\n
ALTRUISTIC REASONS<\/p>\n
INSPIRING REASONS<\/p>\n
YOU DO IT BECAUSE IT\u2019S THE RIGHT THING TO DO<\/p>\n
BY THE WAY<\/p>\n
CAN I GET YOU ANYTHING?<\/p>\n
COLD BEER?<\/p>\n
WEED?<\/p>\n
SALVIA?<\/p>\n
HAHA<\/p>\n
JUST KIDDING<\/p>\n
THAT\u2019S CRAZY<\/p>\n
THE BEER AND THE WEED IS REASONABLE, BUT THE SALVIA ISN\u2019T<\/p>\n
OBVIOUSLY<\/p>\n
OH SHIT<\/p>\n
WHAT\u2019S THAT LINE ON YOUR FACE?<\/p>\n
RIGHT ABOVE YOUR EYES?<\/p>\n
NO, NOT THERE<\/p>\n
A LITTLE HIGHER<\/p>\n
YEAH, RIGHT THERE<\/p>\n
WHAT\u2019S THAT?<\/p>\n
OH IT\u2019S JUST A WRINKLE<\/p>\n
DANG<\/p>\n
YOUNG GUY LIKE YOU WITH SUCH CLEAN HAIR, DIDN\u2019T THINK YOU\u2019D HAVE A WRINKLE LIKE THAT<\/p>\n
GUESS TIME FLIES, AS THEY SAY<\/p>\n
GOES BY FASTER THAN YOU THOUGHT<\/p>\n
PRETTY SOON YOU\u2019LL BE TOTALLY DECREPIT<\/p>\n
HAHA<\/p>\n
JUST KIDDING<\/p>\n
YOU LOOK REALLY YOUNG AND CLEAN<\/p>\n
HOLD ON<\/p>\n
SIT TIGHT MY MAN<\/p>\n
I\u2019M GONNA GET THIS CREAM<\/p>\n
IT\u2019S A REALLY GOOD CREAM<\/p>\n
THEY MAKE IT OUT OF THESE ELEMENTS FROM THE PERIODIC TABLE<\/p>\n
WHAT YOU\u2019RE GONNA WANNA DO IT RUB THE CREAM ON YOUR FOREHEAD EVERY TIME YOU EAT OR GO TO THE BATHROOM<\/p>\n
AND THEN BOOM<\/p>\n
WRINKLE GOES AWAY<\/p>\n
GIMME YOUR CREDIT CARD<\/p>\n
GIVE IT TO ME<\/p>\n
I\u2019M GONNA SET IT UP SO THAT YOU GET A LITTLE BOX WITH FOUR CREAMS EVERY MONTH<\/p>\n
YOU DON\u2019T HAVE TO DO A THING<\/p>\n
THEY\u2019LL JUST SHOW UP AT YOUR DOOR<\/p>\n
HEY<\/p>\n
ANOTHER QUESTION<\/p>\n
HOW ARE YOU PARENTS DOING?<\/p>\n
HOW OFTEN DO YOU SEE THEM?<\/p>\n
THEY DID A REPORT ON THE NEWS ABOUT YOUR PARENTS AND THE REPORTER WAS SAYING THAT THERE\u2019S A BUNCH OF SPIDERWEBS IN THEIR BEDROOM<\/p>\n
IT WAS ON THE LOCAL NEWS AND WE ALL WATCHED IT<\/p>\n
HOW MUCH DO YOU NEED THEM AT THIS POINT IN YOUR LIFE?<\/p>\n
IF THEY DIED, YOU\u2019D GET A NICE LITTLE INHERITANCE<\/p>\n
A NICE LITTLE NEST EGG, AS THEY SAY<\/p>\n
HAHA<\/p>\n
JUST KIDDING<\/p>\n
THAT WOULD BE SAD<\/p>\n
CRAZY HOW YOU USED TO SPEND EVERY DAY WITH THEM<\/p>\n
EVERY DAY, FOR HOURS<\/p>\n
YOU WERE A FAMILY<\/p>\n
YOU ATE TOGETHER, AND WATCHED TELEVISION SHOWS<\/p>\n
YOU FOUGHT AND MADE UP<\/p>\n
GROWING UP, YEAR TO YEAR, YOU WOULD CHANGE AND EXPAND WHO YOU WERE<\/p>\n
EVERY STEP OF THE WAY, THEY WATCHED AND GUIDED<\/p>\n
SEEMS LIKE THAT WAS A LONG TIME AGO HUH<\/p>\n
PRETTY DIFFERENT THAN BEING AN ADULT<\/p>\n
WHICH YOU ARE<\/p>\n
PRETTY DIFFERENT INDEED<\/p>\n
YOU\u2019RE FREE NOW<\/p>\n
FREE AS A BIRD, AS THEY SAY<\/p>\n
YOU CAN GO ANYWHERE YOU WANT<\/p>\n
YOU CAN DRIVE ACROSS TOWN, AND SEE HOMELESS PEOPLE AT INTERSECTIONS<\/p>\n
YOU GIVE THEM MONEY SOMETIMES<\/p>\n
SOMETIMES YOU DON\u2019T THOUGH<\/p>\n
YOU WONDER HOW MUCH MONEY THEY MAKE BY BEGGING<\/p>\n
MAYBE THEY MAKE A LOT<\/p>\n
MAYBE IT\u2019S SMARTER NOT TO GIVE THEM MONEY BECAUSE THEY ACTUALLY MAKE A LOT<\/p>\n
THEIR HAIR ISN\u2019T VERY CLEAN<\/p>\n
UNLIKE YOU<\/p>\n
MR. CLEAN HAIR<\/p>\n
OH<\/p>\n
YOU\u2019RE CHECKING YOUR PHONE<\/p>\n
DANG, I MUST BE BORING YOU<\/p>\n
HAHA<\/p>\n
JUST KIDDING<\/p>\n
NO PLEASE, GO AHEAD<\/p>\n
I\u2019LL JUST CHILL FOR A MINUTE WHILE YOU CHECK YOUR PHONE<\/p>\n
SEE ANYTHING COOL ON THERE?<\/p>\n
OH LOOK, YOU GOT A TEXT<\/p>\n
ONE TEXT<\/p>\n
NICE<\/p>\n
ALWAYS SWEET WHEN YOU GET A TEXT, ONE OF MY FAVORITE FEELINGS<\/p>\n
SEE WHO IT\u2019S FROM<\/p>\n
OH NICE<\/p>\n
IT\u2019S FROM THE BANK<\/p>\n
THEY\u2019RE JUST CHECKIN\u2019 IN TO MAKE SURE EVERYTHING IS GRAVY<\/p>\n
ALWAYS NICE WHEN SOMEONE CHECKS IN<\/p>\n
MAKES SURE EVERYTHING IS GRAVY<\/p>\n
NOW THAT YOU CHECKED YOUR TEXT MESSAGES, YOU\u2019RE FREE TO LOOK AT ALL KINDS OF STUFF<\/p>\n
THE WHOLE WORLD IS AT YOUR FINGERTIPS<\/p>\n
YEAH MAN<\/p>\n
TOTALLY<\/p>\n
CHECK OUT THE NEW POSTS PEOPLE HAVE MADE<\/p>\n
DANG EVERYONE\u2019S GETTING TONS OF LIKES<\/p>\n
LIKES ALL AROUND<\/p>\n
THAT\u2019S AWESOME<\/p>\n
THAT\u2019S POSITIVITY RIGHT THERE, ALL THOSE LIKES<\/p>\n
DANG LOOK AT THAT VIDEO<\/p>\n
PRETTY COOL<\/p>\n
OKAY NOW PUT IT AWAY<\/p>\n
I SAID PUT IT AWAY<\/p>\n
PUT IT AWAY<\/p>\n
THANKS MAN<\/p>\n
NOW YOU\u2019RE BACK IN REALITY<\/p>\n
HOW DOES IT COMPARE?<\/p>\n
IT IS AS COOL AS THE VIDEO?<\/p>\n
I\u2019D SAY SO!<\/p>\n
COOL AS A CUCUMBER<\/p>\n
HAHA<\/p>\n
I GOTTA SAY THOUGH<\/p>\n
YOU SEEM OFF MAN<\/p>\n
A SECOND AGO I WAS SAYING \u201cCOOL AS A CUCUMBER\u201d AND WE MADE EYE CONTACT<\/p>\n
YOUR EYES SEEMED SUPER SAD<\/p>\n
EVEN THOUGH WE WEREN\u2019T TALKING ABOUT ANYTHING SAD<\/p>\n
I COULD TELL BY THE WAY YOUR EYES LOOKED THAT SOMETHING WAS UP<\/p>\n
IT WAS LIKE YOUR FACE BELONGED TO ONE GUY AND YOUR EYES BELONGED TO ANOTHER GUY, A REALLY SAD GUY<\/p>\n
FREAKY STUFF MAN!<\/p>\n
BETTER GET THAT CHECKED OUT<\/p>\n
HAHA<\/p>\n
JUST KIDDING<\/p>\n
IT\u2019S NOT A MEDICAL ISSUE<\/p>\n
ANYWAY<\/p>\n
GUESS WHAT<\/p>\n
NO YOU HAVE TO GUESS<\/p>\n
YOU CAN\u2019T JUST ASK WHAT IT IS<\/p>\n
I WANT YOU TO ACTUALLY GUESS<\/p>\n
DO IT<\/p>\n
JUST PLAY ALONG<\/p>\n
YOU GOTTA GET BETTER AT STUFF LIKE THIS MAN<\/p>\n
STUFF LIKE PLAYING ALONG<\/p>\n
IT WOULD EXPAND YOUR NETWORK<\/p>\n
ANYWAY<\/p>\n
I WAS GONNA SAY WE SHOULD GO TO THE ZOO SOMETIME<\/p>\n
WOULDN\u2019T THAT BE SICK?<\/p>\n
GOING TO THE ZOO<\/p>\n
SEEING ALL THE ANIMALS?<\/p>\n
IT\u2019S SO COOL THAT THEY GET TO JUST CHILL THERE<\/p>\n
BEATS BEING EATEN<\/p>\n
IF I COULD HOOK IT UP, I\u2019D TOTALLY PUT YOU IN THERE<\/p>\n
THAT\u2019D BE SO FUNNY<\/p>\n
LIKE A \u201cHUMAN\u201d EXHIBIT<\/p>\n
YOU WOULDN\u2019T HAVE TO WORK OR ANYTHING<\/p>\n
YOU COULD JUST VIBE<\/p>\n
THEN EVENTUALLY YOU WOULD DIE AND THE PAPER WOULD BE LIKE, \u201cBELOVED HUMAN DIES AT LOCAL ZOO\u201d<\/p>\n
THEN THEY WOULD REPLACE YOU WITH SOME OTHER GUY<\/p>\n
OR GIRL<\/p>\n
EITHER WAY<\/p>\n
I DON\u2019T DISCRIMINATE<\/p>\n
HAHA<\/p>\n
JUST KIDDING<\/p>\n
I FEEL LIKE I\u2019M DOING ALL THE TALKING MAN<\/p>\n
THIS IS A REAL ONE-WAY STREET AS THEY SAY<\/p>\n
YOU\u2019RE PRETTY QUIET<\/p>\n
YOU SEEM LIKE YOU\u2019RE SOMEWHERE ELSE<\/p>\n
SOMEWHERE FAR AWAY<\/p>\n
YOU MUST BE THINKING A LOT<\/p>\n
ONE OF THOSE \u201cTHINKING\u201d TYPES<\/p>\n
ALWAYS THINKING AWAY<\/p>\n
MR. THINKER<\/p>\n
SUCKS THAT NO ONE CAN KNOW WHAT YOU\u2019RE THINKING<\/p>\n
IF THEY DID THEY\u2019D BE SO IMPRESSED<\/p>\n
THEY WOULD CONSIDER IT SUCH A MIRACLE TO GAIN ACCESS TO YOUR MIND<\/p>\n
WHERE YOU REMAIN, EVERY SINGLE DAY<\/p>\n
HOW MANY DO YOU HAVE LEFT?<\/p>\n
DAYS, I MEAN<\/p>\n
IT\u2019S PROBABLY SOME RANDOMLY LARGE NUMBER LIKE 56,928<\/p>\n
MR. THINKER HAS 56,928 DAYS LEFT TO THINK HIS SPECIAL THOUGHTS<\/p>\n
AND THEN IT\u2019LL BE OVER<\/p>\n
YOU OKAY?<\/p>\n
WHY ARE YOU RUBBING YOUR TEMPLES LIKE THAT?<\/p>\n
DO YOU HAVE A HEADACHE?<\/p>\n
OUCH<\/p>\n
TOUGH TO BE MR. THINKER WHEN YOUR HEAD DON\u2019T WORK HUH PAL<\/p>\n
THAT\u2019S LIKE BEING A BIRD WITHOUT A BEAK<\/p>\n
A SNAKE WITH NO VENOM<\/p>\n
A FLAT TIRE, AS THEY SAY<\/p>\n
ALL THAT PAIN, COVERED BY SUCH CLEAN HAIR<\/p>\n
NO WORRIES<\/p>\n
I CAN HELP YOU MAN<\/p>\n
I CAN CURE YOU<\/p>\n
I KNOW THIS OLD TRICK FOR GETTING RID OF HEADACHES<\/p>\n
FIRST YOU PRETEND TO BE HOLDING A SALTSHAKER IN YOUR HAND<\/p>\n
THEN YOU PRETEND TO BE SHAKING SALT ONTO YOUR TONGUE<\/p>\n
DO IT<\/p>\n
SERIOUSLY DO IT MAN<\/p>\n
HAHA<\/p>\n
JUST KIDDING<\/p>\n
IF YOU DO IT, IT LOOKS INAPPROPRIATE<\/p>\n
CLASSIC<\/p>\n
REMINDS ME OF THAT OTHER TIME<\/p>\n
REMEMBER?<\/p>\n
NO NOT THAT TIME, THE OTHER TIME<\/p>\n
YOU DON\u2019T REMEMBER?<\/p>\n
DANG MAN<\/p>\n
YOU\u2019VE BEEN FORGETTING STUFF A LOT LATELY<\/p>\n
I\u2019M ALWAYS TELLING YOU ABOUT THIS TIME AND THE OTHER TIME AND YOU ALWAYS LOOK REALLY CONFUSED<\/p>\n
MAYBE YOUR BRAIN SUCKS<\/p>\n
HAHA<\/p>\n
JUST KIDDING<\/p>\n
ARE YOU GOING TO GET IT CHECKED OUT?<\/p>\n
I ONLY ASK BECAUSE LIFE IS ALL ABOUT MAKING MEMORIES<\/p>\n
COOL, CRISP, DELICIOUS MEMORIES<\/p>\n
AND YOU WORK SO HARD TO MAKE THEM<\/p>\n
YOU REALLY GIVE IT THE OLD COLLEGE TRY AS THEY SAY<\/p>\n
DESPITE THE PAIN OF THE MORNINGS<\/p>\n
AND THE DISAPPOINTMENT AS YOU GO TO BED<\/p>\n
BUT THAT\u2019S WHY YOU GOTTA REMEMBER THE GOOD TIMES MAN<\/p>\n
THE PROBLEM IS YOU CAN\u2019T<\/p>\n
YOU CAN\u2019T EVEN REMEMBER WHAT YOU DON\u2019T REMEMBER<\/p>\n
WISH THERE WAS A CREAM FOR STUFF LIKE THAT<\/p>\n
OH SHIT<\/p>\n
THE GAME IS ON<\/p>\n
YOU\u2019RE MISSING THE GAME!<\/p>\n
TURN ON THE GAME MAN<\/p>\n
IT\u2019S THE FOURTH QUARTER<\/p>\n
YOUR FAVORITE TEAM IS GONNA WIN!<\/p>\n
YOU\u2019RE UP BY ONE POINT AND THERE\u2019S ONLY A FEW SECONDS LEFT!<\/p>\n
YOU JUST NEED THINGS TO GO WELL FOR ONE SECOND<\/p>\n
FUCK<\/p>\n
YOU LOST<\/p>\n
THE OTHER TEAM HIT A BUZZER-BEATER<\/p>\n
THE ANNOUNCER IS SAYING IT\u2019S THE WORST LOSS IN LEAGUE HISTORY<\/p>\n
TOTALLY UNPRECEDENTED<\/p>\n
FUCK<\/p>\n
YOU KNOW WHAT MAN<\/p>\n
HONESTLY<\/p>\n
I THINK YOU SHOULD QUIT YOUR JOB<\/p>\n
I THINK YOU\u2019RE DESTINED FOR GREATER THINGS<\/p>\n
TRUER THINGS<\/p>\n
I CAN SEE YOU LIVING IN A VILLAGE OR SOMETHING<\/p>\n
LIKE A REAL PRIMITIVE KIND OF VILLAGE<\/p>\n
YOUR BALLS COVERED IN A LOINCLOTH<\/p>\n
DANCING AROUND A FIRE<\/p>\n
YOU\u2019D PROBABLY BE THE COOLEST GUY IN THE VILLAGE AND YOUR HAIR WOULD BE CLEAN DESPITE A LACK OF ACCESS TO HYGIENIC PRODUCTS<\/p>\n
EVERY DAY YOU\u2019D WAKE UP<\/p>\n
PUT ON THAT LOINCLOTH<\/p>\n
BRUSH YOUR TEETH WITH A REED OR SOMETHING<\/p>\n
PISS<\/p>\n
SHIT<\/p>\n
GET THE GUNK OUTTA YOUR EYES<\/p>\n
AND THEN YOU\u2019D GO HUNTING<\/p>\n
MR. HUNTER<\/p>\n
YOU WOULD KNOW ALL THE BEST SPOTS TO LOOK FOR ELK<\/p>\n
IT WOULDN\u2019T EVEN TAKE YOU THAT LONG TO TRACK ONE<\/p>\n
YOU\u2019D HAVE AN AWESOME SPEAR<\/p>\n
SHARP, THICK, POWERFUL<\/p>\n
MANY INCHES LONG<\/p>\n
IT WOULD FEEL SO GOOD IN YOUR HANDS<\/p>\n
YOUR FATHER GAVE IT TO YOU ON YOUR FIRST HUNT<\/p>\n
YOU\u2019D REMEMBER THAT REALLY CLEARLY<\/p>\n
YOU WOULD AIM AT THE ELK<\/p>\n
YOU\u2019D LET IT FLY, AS THEY SAY<\/p>\n
BOOM<\/p>\n
HEADSHOT<\/p>\n
ALL THE OTHER HUNTERS CHEER AND RUN TOWARD THE ELK<\/p>\n
THIS KID WOULD SEE YOU CARRYING IT BACK TO THE VILLAGE AND YELL FOR EVERYONE TO GATHER ROUND<\/p>\n
THEY\u2019D CHEER FOR YOU<\/p>\n
THE VILLAGE GIRLS WOULD BE TOTALLY SWOONING<\/p>\n
THEY\u2019D CALL YOU THE NATIVE WORD FOR \u201cBEEFCAKE\u201d<\/p>\n
SERIOUSLY HOW IS YOUR HAIR SO CLEAN?<\/p>\n
YOU SLEEP ON A DIRT FLOOR<\/p>\n
THERE\u2019D BE A BIG FESTIVAL<\/p>\n
FIRST THE FELLAS WOULD DANCE<\/p>\n
THEN THE LADIES, AS IS CUSTOM<\/p>\n
THEN THIS REALLY PRETTY ONE WOULD WALK UP TO YOU AND PLACE A WREATH AROUND YOUR NECK<\/p>\n
THE WREATH IS A SYMBOL OF HER BURNING LOINS<\/p>\n
THEY BURN FOR YOU<\/p>\n
HER HAIR WOULD ALSO BE CLEAN<\/p>\n
YOU\u2019D HAVE TONS OF STUFF LIKE THAT IN COMMON<\/p>\n
YOU\u2019D HAVE AN AWESOME TIME DANCING<\/p>\n
YOU WOULDN\u2019T SPEND ANY TIME THINKING ABOUT WHETHER YOUR MOVES LOOKED GAY<\/p>\n
THEN EVERYONE WOULD FEAST<\/p>\n
THEY\u2019D THINK THE ELK WAS SO GOOD<\/p>\n
SO JUICY<\/p>\n
NO G.M.O.S OR ANYTHING<\/p>\n
DECADES WOULD GO BY<\/p>\n
YOU\u2019D BECOME A VILLAGE ELDER<\/p>\n
LONG BEARD<\/p>\n
THICK STAFF<\/p>\n
EVERYONE WOULD ASK YOUR ADVICE ABOUT THEIR PERSONAL MORAL QUANDARIES<\/p>\n
YOU WOULD SOLVE THEIR QUANDARIES SO EFFORTLESSLY<\/p>\n
IF THE OTHER VILLAGERS HAD TO DESCRIBE YOU THE WORD THEY WOULD USE IS \u201cSAGE\u201d<\/p>\n
AND THEN ONE NIGHT<\/p>\n
ONE FINAL NIGHT<\/p>\n
AFTER A LONG AND MEANINGFUL LIFE<\/p>\n
YOU\u2019D PASS INTO THE SPIRIT REALM<\/p>\n
IT WOULD HAPPEN IN THE MIDDLE OF A DREAM<\/p>\n
THE DREAM WOULD BEGIN IN A FIELD<\/p>\n
YOU WOULD NOTICE A STRONG WIND BLOWING THROUGH YOUR BEAUTIFUL CLEAN HAIR<\/p>\n
TO THE EAST, YOU\u2019D SEE A TORNADO APPROACHING<\/p>\n
A BIRD WOULD LAND ON YOUR SHOULDER AND TELL YOU THERE\u2019S NOTHING TO FEAR<\/p>\n
YOU WOULD STAND PERFECTLY STILL AS THE TORNADO APPROACHED, AND IT WOULD PULL YOU INTO THE SKY PAINLESSLY<\/p>\n
YOU WOULD RISE UP INTO THE CLOUDS, THEN BE ABSORBED BY THE SUN<\/p>\n
YOU WOULD BE JOINED WITH THE GREAT SPIRIT, AND WITH ALL YOUR ANCESTORS<\/p>\n
YOU WOULD REACH AN EXPANSIVE AND BLISSFUL ETERNITY<\/p>\n
THEN YOU WOULD WAKE UP<\/p>\n
NOT AS A VILLAGER, BUT AS A FAGGOT<\/p>\n
A STUPID FAGGOT<\/p>\n
FUCKING HATE YOU MAN<\/p>\n
HAHA<\/p>\n
JUST KIDDING<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
by Adem Luz Rienspects HEY THERE HOW ARE YOU DOING LITTLE BUDDY DIDN\u2019T MEAN TO SCARE YOU OR DID I HAHA JUST KIDDING ANYWAY WELCOME COME ON IN WATER\u2019S WARM, AS THEY SAY YOU LOOK REALLY NICE TODAY YOUR HAIR IS SUPER CLEAN SMART GUY LIKE YOU, SUPER CLEAN HAIR, I SEE A REAL BRIGHT … [DO NOT CLICK]<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1793,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[32],"class_list":{"0":"entry","1":"post","2":"publish","3":"author-admin","4":"post-1794","6":"format-standard","7":"has-post-thumbnail","8":"category-slush","9":"post_tag-adem-luz-rienspects"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lampbylit.com\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1794","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lampbylit.com\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lampbylit.com\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lampbylit.com\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lampbylit.com\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1794"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/lampbylit.com\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1794\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1849,"href":"https:\/\/lampbylit.com\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1794\/revisions\/1849"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lampbylit.com\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1793"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lampbylit.com\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1794"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lampbylit.com\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1794"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lampbylit.com\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1794"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}