Journal Entry about my gay thoughts from when I was 18

I’d never have thought that I’d be Writing about something like this but I feel the need to catalogue events such as these to make sure I evaluate the decisions I’ve been making in my life. Today mave have very well marked the most homoerotic act I have ever committed, I had been browsing the pornographic board on 4chan for prolonged times throughout the day and was progressively getting exually excited throughout the day. Then, out of the complete blue I felt a Subconscious but immense desire to penetrate my asshole with my Own fingers in the evening, around 7pm. I went on about it like I’ve done it a few times in the past Where I just try to to poke to it through my clothes and just stop after a few innocent, but now admittedly fortelling pokes. I Wish I had never done it but this time around I committed to the fingering I grabbed the coconut oil and snuck it into the toilet. I then proceeded to lubricate my middle finger and completely insert it into my asshole. I then began moving it in an ebb and flow motion.

At this point of the sexual act I had started using both my middle and index fingers to sexually please myself. There was no stopping my ass plunging, as  I didn’t even stop to defecate due to which the room was filled with this vile stench. The stench of my shame, there really was no hiding it. After about 10-15 minutes I stroked my penis to completion. The pornographic movie I had ejaculated to was heterosexual in nature, of course but this was in no way an indication of my heterosexuality anymore.