6 Thoughts

by Anonymous

A pill that eliminates the need for sleep – I’m not talking about meth. I’m talking about a pill or a treatment that alters your DNA so that the need for sleep is just eliminated. You might feel a little tired, but then you can sit in a recliner and read a book for 30 minutes or soak in a hot bath, and then feel refreshed enough to keep going. I hear folks talk about a way to stop aging or curing cancer. Fuck that shit. Never sleeping is the game changer because everyone would have to have it. Imagine you are in job where one of your co-workers doesn’t have to sleep. They come to work early, send emails in the middle of the night, work all hours, and still have the energy for their friends and family. How can you compete with that? You would need whatever they were on. The more I think about this, the more I think this pill would be a massive economic boom for the whole world. People are driving at all hours of the night, wearing down the roads, wearing down their cars, there would have to be good TV shows on all the time, sporting events would have to occur all the time, and so. There would be no cyclical routine to our day, it would just go. And back to the acceptance rate. It would be exponential exponential. All it takes is one guy taking it, and then in 6 months the whole world would be on it. You couldn’t be left behind. You couldn’t be one of the few people left in “zombie sleep” land wasting away a third of your life while the idiot next neighbor works 3 jobs. The economic effects are mind boggling. Keep your eyes open for drug and healthcare companies that may be developing this. I haven’t heard of anything close to this except that stuff DARPA developed during Desert Storm, but I think that was some type of THC/amphetamine mix for soldiers.

Bring back Pontiac – When will we know the economy is really good? When General Motors reintroduces Pontiac that’s when we will be pushing through the economic stratosphere. I remember when the Concord was retired and I thought that really sucked. Why can’t the elite business travelers boom around faster than sound and rattle the windows of the little people below? Right now I know of one company that is working on bringing back supersonic commercial flight and I think that is tits. The return of Pontiac is really going to be what knocks your fucking head off. The Firebird and Trans Am will be soaking panties and driving the local Five-O mad. But here is the kicker: those badass handle bar mustache muscle cars will return: fully fucking: electric. That’s right, space age electric high tech Pontiacs! Fucking Knight Rider! Kit lives! Bring back the Hoff! Real voice commands, touch screens, self-driving, infrared, satellite radar guided sexiness. You’ll be power-sliding a cloud of smoke and waving your cowboy hat out the window at some nerd while he masturbates to Elon Musk tweets in his Tesla waiting for road service to give him an emergency charge.

Harvey Weinstein Rape Scandal Biopic Rape Scandal – Okay. Follow me on this one. So Harvey Weinstein allegedly had sex/raped a bunch of Hollywood starlets, abused his power, and was a total monster, allegedly. I get that. I think it is obvious that a scandal that compelling would make a great movie #metoo. I think it would be a great way for Hollywood to show it is working on its problem of equality and give women actors the same respect as men. However, in order to make this movie, you are going to have to audition a lot of women. You are going to have to audition a lot of women who are going to play the part of women who are going to be sexually and psychologically abused. Do you see where this is going? Some sleazy Hollywood guys are going to have a golden opportunity to sexually abuse hundreds of women and say it was “acting”. After the movie is released and wins all the Oscars, hundreds of women are going to come out and say, “I was raped by the director!” And the director will say, “No it was acting! We were having an audition!” If they are good actors, you won’t be able to tell real rape from acting rape. Someone is going to greenlight this movie and lives will be ruined. Keep an eye open for this one.

The Truth at Roswell – Here are some thoughts from a historical perspective. I can remember growing up and watching the Sci-Fi channel on Saturday mornings to see shows talking about Roswell, NM. Fucking A. The aliens had crossed the galaxy with technology beyond our wildest dreams, but for some reason they decided to manually park their flying saucer instead of letting the autopilot plant it on the White House lawn. Then the g-men showed up, recovered the bodies, and told everyone it was a weather balloon. Then somehow in the 90s a grainy video tape of 4 seconds of an alien autopsy managed to be released to the public! What are they hiding? The truth is out there! Bullshit? Yeah, but in a different way. Apparently there is a known technique that bullshit artists do involving an event that is around 30 years old. The Roswell incident was in 1947; a minor story in the local newspaper, and that was it. Some douche digs it up, interviews some locals with leading questions, and then writes a book. A couple of new age nutbars read the book and now a nothing town in New Mexico is famous for aliens. It will be interesting if we see some bullshit like this perpetuated in our time. Here is the last bit on Roswell. The newspaper article in 1947 said it was a weather balloon that crashed and the nutbars say it was aliens. According to a Freedom of Information Act request, it wasn’t a weather balloon or aliens. It was a high altitude Geiger counter used for measuring radiation in the atmosphere. I know our government told us they weren’t doing atomic bomb testing in the atmosphere, but they were and this was a device used to see how many of the locals might die in 30 years of cancer because they lived a little too close to Uncle Sam’s nuclear playground.

The Last Generation – I often raise an eyebrow when the Masters of the Universe Silicon Valley pricks talk about the downsides of artificial intelligence (AI) and automation. The big threat I hear is “The machines are going to take away all the jobs and there will be civil unrest, and then we will have to have universal basic income!” I think that is a bunch of bullshit. The economy needs AI/automation because we don’t have enough people. In the brief time I’ve been working I have always seen a need for people at all levels of whatever organization where ever I have been. Most jobs are bullshit too. “Showing up is half the job,” that is not just a funny expression. It is truth. Most jobs require little creativity and quickly become routine. AI is going to be perfect because we are approaching the last generation. 20 years from now our society is going to be a lot less people based. In fact the idea of a real person, a physical person in the real world will be thought of the same as their digital footprint. I’m against this idea. That’s why I’m Vic Simmons on the internet to preserve Chris Guida. Physical and digital will be one in the same. The well to do Western world is not having enough kids. Mine will be the last. They will be the last flesh generation. Then time will stop.

5.1 Digital Life – Did you ever think about taking all your emails, Facebook posts, twitters (?), Instagram posts, phone location data, and feeding it into a big algorithm that could replicate your “output”? You are your preferences.

5.2 In the Age of the Master Persuaders – Mind your mind. One day you are going to be eating a bucket of fried seagull and you won’t even question it.

Marriage Thoughts – Being married is a real hoot. There is a woman cooking me dinner and washing my clothes who isn’t my mom. I love having her around to say the most insane thoughts to her,

“Hey babe, can you play ‘Pomp and Circumstance’ at my funeral? It will be like ‘he graduated from life’.”

“No!” “Can you boil me down to a big pot of sausage gravy and serve me to our friends and family at my funeral?”


I like to fix things for my wife. She had this big ass adjustable wrench that was rusted shut. I fixed that sonnovabitch no problem.

I like keeping her busy with the jigsaw puzzle that is yours truly. One night we were eating dinner and our table is near a window in our kitchen. We are sitting there eating when a fly starts buzzing against the window trying to get out. I’m closest to the window so I pull open the blinds and sure enough there is a house fly buzzing against the glass. My wife says “Do you want a pair of chopsticks to catch him?” I calmly reply “No, I got him.” Then I slowly moved my hand in and picked the fly off the glass with my thumb and forefinger. I held him up for my wife to see he was still alive, then I opened the kitchen door, and let him fly away. When I sat back down my wife was just staring at me and said “I can’t believe that just happened.” I told her “I am the lord of flies”. A few nights later, she was watching TV and I was working at my desk which is also in the living room when another fly was buzzing around. He landed on my lamp, and I reached out and picked him up. My wife watched as I did this. “Honey look, I caught another one!” “You’re freaking me out with these flies!” “I told you, I am the lord of flies”. When you are single and you pick up flies, you feel like Renfield. When you are married and you catch flies, you are motherfucking Dracula.